Three Certain Things

The saying goes: In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin. We feel strongly that a third should be added. That the weather here in Whoville will basically suck for the Memorial Day Weekend.

Eight inches of rain. Flowers still languishing because it's too wet to plant. Periodic bouts of sun; too late in the day to be of use.

I managed to keep myself entertained by napping, eating excessive amounts of food and drinking a case a few bottles of wine. Oh, and shopping.

Despite the fact the our government has deemed our little family unworthy of an economic stimulus check we none the less sallied forth to do our patriotic duty and stimulate the economy.

At long last we are seriously making decisions on a kitchen update. The whole thing makes me queasy. I'm not big on upheaval. Nor am I a fan of strangers in the house. Nevertheless the kitchen has not had a major overhaul since 1996. It is time.

Unfortunately the range I want is proving to be a pain in the ass harder to acquire than one might imagine. And then there is the matter of getting a definitive answer as to whether or not I can have a microwave mounted over the imaginary range without getting rid of the cabinet above. Which CAN'T HAPPEN.

Oh, and what color paint for the walls. And what type of counter tops. And what kind of sink. Sigh. So I bought a tray.
At this rate the project will be done in August. 2011.

Home Improvement for $500

The Hotfessional asked for "Home Improvement". With that in mind, riddle me this: Why would people who can’t put a Christmas tree with out dropping the F Bomb at least six times EVER endeavor to do home improvement projects? I don’t know either. This is what I do know:

Do not strip wallpaper off three days before weekend visitors are due. Putting up new wallpaper together is grounds for divorce.

If you replace the bathroom faucet it will cost $2,000. Never mind that the faucet was $50, everything else will look shabby by comparison. You do the math.

If your husband spends a day in a crawl space trying to solder a leaky pipe, do not call him the next day to tell him the plumber did it in three minutes.

If you decide, three days before you move into your new house, that you have time to have the ugly popcorn texture removed from your ceilings, please take note of the fact that “Ceiling Plaster” is not a finished product. The fucking newly plastered ceilings WILL need primer plus two coats of paint.

If you are renovating a bathroom, make sure the tile you ordered is IN the United States BEFORE you take a sledge hammer to the old tile.

If you hire a neighbor, who is down on his luck, to refinish your hardwood floors, and he quotes part of his payment in cases of beer? When you come back from vacation your hardwood floors will most assuredly look like shit.

Oh people, surely you get the idea. Need I go on? That being said, so far the current bathroom project has gone surprisingly well. Here I am painting the sun room "Lemon Meringue".

Right over where a window USED to be.

Look at my mad skills up top.

Finished product and start of the bathroom tomorrow.

Sundy, Sunday, Sunday

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK GO KU!!!

We had a big birthday last night

The hostess had some cake

I just had more wine

OK, now that I have THAT out of my system, remember this project? Do you want a progress report? Oh let's, shall we? We knew the tile would either pop right off or we'd have to take a sledge hammer to it. Guess what?

It popped right off!

Next to go was the useless window

Then fill the hole with a piece of sheet rock.

Oops, ran out of sheet rock for the other side. Off to Lowe's for sheet rock, mud, bead board and a new TP dispenser and towel bar. Just another walk on the wild side!