Here’s the deal; if I were you I would NOT want to hear about my fucking fantastic vacation. Don’t get me wrong – once I pull pics off the camera you are damn well GOING to hear about it, but in the meantime let me share a little inappropriate personal revelation.
I have been dealing on and off with mega hot flashes due to that bitch we call menopause. The upside is that I have not had a period since SEPTEMBER 2009. That’s somewhere in the neighborhood of five MONTHS. Needless to say this is welcome turn of events.
But sweet baby jesus the hot flashes! All winter I’ve been sleeping with the bedroom window open. Yes, as in even if it BELOW ZERO AND SNOWING I’m sleeping with the damn window open so I don’t wake up in a pool of my own sweat three times a night.
These hot flashes have been coming and going for a while. Oddly I’ll have weeks of relief where they are minimal in number, duration and intensity. As of late I HAD been sleeping clear thought the night which is six kinds of awesome. Then BAM – hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell.
The last several days those suckers were back with a vengeance! By the plane ride home Sunday I was in agony. I must have woken up six or seven times last night. Sheet thrown off, sheet pulled back on, rinse and repeat. I had to dry my hair bare assed naked this morning or risk passing out on the cold, tile floor. Which in hindsight sounds delightful; people it was sixteen degrees outside!
Then mid-morning it hit me. What did I NOT do all last week? What do I fail to do on the weekends and over holidays and the like? Drink GREEN TEA.
Back about a year or so ago I added green tea to my morning office routine. Having read all these bits and pieces about the virtues of green tea I finally found one that didn’t taste like...well…grass clippings that had been steeped in manure.
So as I sipped my morning brew and realized I did not feel as though I were about to spontaneously combust I got to pondering cause and effect. Is it possible all that stands between me and insanity is a teabag? Discuss among yourselves.