Thursday, May 29, 2008

This should be fun

Oh people. Tonight will be the dreaded “Calendar Meeting” in Whoville. Which is a periodic, mandatory meeting for all members of the household. It gets scheduled when things in Whoville are out of control.

We all hate the “Calendar Meeting”. Nevertheless it needs to be done. Too many things need to be pieced together to figure out WHENINTHENAMEOFGOD we can take a vacation this summer. And it’s mostly MY fault. The plan this year is a Boston/New York scenario. Best done before it gets hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell. But my June? Sucketh mightily. Throw in debate camp, my father's 70th birthday, and a photography class Precious Youngest wants to take and July is not looking much better.

Tonight, after dinner, we will pull out the ginormous calendar. Many things will be written down, color coded, checked and cross-checked. All to see if six consecutive days can be strung together. So we can have some quality family time damn it.

I'm thinking what I need is for someone to tell me that Boston/New York will not kill us dead with the heat/humidity in late July. Please?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Three Certain Things

The saying goes: In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin. We feel strongly that a third should be added. That the weather here in Whoville will basically suck for the Memorial Day Weekend.

Eight inches of rain. Flowers still languishing because it's too wet to plant. Periodic bouts of sun; too late in the day to be of use.

I managed to keep myself entertained by napping, eating excessive amounts of food and drinking a case a few bottles of wine. Oh, and shopping.

Despite the fact the our government has deemed our little family unworthy of an economic stimulus check we none the less sallied forth to do our patriotic duty and stimulate the economy.

At long last we are seriously making decisions on a kitchen update. The whole thing makes me queasy. I'm not big on upheaval. Nor am I a fan of strangers in the house. Nevertheless the kitchen has not had a major overhaul since 1996. It is time.

Unfortunately the range I want is proving to be a pain in the ass harder to acquire than one might imagine. And then there is the matter of getting a definitive answer as to whether or not I can have a microwave mounted over the imaginary range without getting rid of the cabinet above. Which CAN'T HAPPEN.

Oh, and what color paint for the walls. And what type of counter tops. And what kind of sink. Sigh. So I bought a tray.
At this rate the project will be done in August. 2011.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Oh, so you're THAT family

We don't have a rec room or a finished basement. We don't own any video games. There's no Guitar Hero or Rock Band in this house.

Good lord woman, you're thinking, what in the hell did thirty some high school children do to entertain themselves for SIX HOURS last night?

They played some badminton and ate some Bar B Que

They played Horseshoes

and Basketball

After the sun went down they made a fire and had s'mores. And yes siree, Homecoming Date, Prom Date and Junior Ring Date were all here.

At 11:30 PM, when the last guest departed, I went to bed. Precious Youngest and the BFF were on clean up detail. This is what I found this morning. Tables and chairs put away. Dishwasher unloaded. Trash picked up. Recyclables separated.

Teenagers. Sometimes you gotta love em'!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The best mother ever

You want to know what I did last night? I baked. Oh yes I did! See, I told you I’m the best. Brownies. Ginormous batch.

Why, you ask? Because last week we told Precious Youngest she could have some people over tonight. Because the last finals were today. And we’re nice like that.

But this morning? It poured down buckets of rain.

And the Saint? Is out of town.

And the people? Are close to thirty.

And I? Am still at work.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


For several months I've been driving an alternate route to the office due to road construction. I pass a church that has a day care center. From what I can see it seems pleasant; small and non-institutional. The center has a nice playground and this time of year some of the children are outside playing as I drive by.

Each morning I drive by a bit after eight o'clock. I see mothers and fathers taking their small children into the center. And I say a quick prayer of thanks. Thanks that was never me. That I was able to make the choice that I made.

I am grateful.

Monday, May 19, 2008


So yesterday was Mother's Day. We went out for a nice brunch. Then the Precious Daughter's and I drove downtown. We had great seats: Center Orchestra, Row E.

To see this.

We had a ridiculously great time. The End.

Friday, May 16, 2008


Remember last month when we drove Precious Oldest off to college? She's home. The Saint went up yesterday, packed up all her crappe and brought it back to Whoville. She got in after my regular bed time. But I waited up. Because, you know, SHE'S HOME!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I can't, don't, won't

Press Conference
High School Dance
Board of Directors Event
Scholarship Selections
IT Issues
School Year Ending
Mother's Day Postponed
Rain and Cold
But Only On The weekends

So pretty, pretty pictures

Robins nest

Mama flew off briefly

Wood Hyacinth


Sunrise, Sunset

We blinked ....
And this

Became this ....

As far as we know, no one's feelings were hurt.
But the boyfriend used six rolls of saran wrap to "shrink wrap" her car.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Be still my heart...

*Bonus Thursday Edition*

From: The
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 3:23 PM
Subject: I was by the house for lunch today

Don’t be alarmed…….The laundry is done. Both loads.

The Saint
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 3:33 PM
Subject: RE: I was by the house for lunch today

I’m feeling faint…..


From: The
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2008 3:43 PM
Subject: I was by the house for lunch today

Is yo’ heart afluttah, Scarlett!?

The Saint

[We all know who had a load in both machines BEFORE she left for work today right?]


In which situation do you find more irony?

A. A sixteen year old who accompanies you to the grocery store and chooses these snacks.


B. A sixteen year old who lectures you (yes, you with the canvas bags and the recycling and the buying local) on your carbon footprint and then chooses these particular snacks.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Leprosy, we haz it

Well maybe not leprosy, just an extremely bad case of eczema. Well maybe not us so much as our deck. Every few years the thing gets power washed, stripped and sealed. Something went terribly wrong in last year's process.

Is this flaking not most attractive?

How about the big white patches?

It's freaking EVERYWHERE

And as you can imagine this is not a simple affair. What with the benches and the railings and the fences and god only knows what. So we're thinking we may have to call in professional help. Unless someone has a better idea?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

When I grow up

Precious Youngest and I were having lunch on Sunday and an older couple was seated next to us. I wish I'd had my camera. They were eighty five if they were a day; both charmingly dressed.

She was wearing quite a smart suit.

And a hat like this.

And shoes like these.

I'm not sure if they were married, he wasn't wearing a wedding ring, but I'd like to think they were. I'd like to think they'd been married for many years and still had so many things to talk about over lunch. So many things going on in their lives to be excited about.


At the grocery store with Precious Youngest

Lady Bagging Groceries (LBG): after filling two canvas bags and setting a gallon of milk beside them “Do you need your shopping cart?”

Fannie: “No, I think we can get this.”

LBG: “One of these bags is really heavy.”*

Fannie: “That’s OK; Precious Youngest can carry that one.”

Precious Youngest: grabbing the lighter of the bags and dashing towards the door “No mom, I think you’d better carry the rest yourself. I don’t want you getting dependent on me. Otherwise you might not survive when I leave for college.”

*Note: Those canvas bags are huge and they hold a lot, but holy crap they can get heavy!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Photo Friday

I took these pictures last December

of my favorite tree.

A Sargent Crabapple

I took these pictures yesterday

The scent is intoxicating

Beautiful, yes?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Air Travel, part deux

The Saint has been travelling this week. He likes to keep me informed of all breaking news, AKA: Why you should carefully consider outfits for travelling.

From: The
To: Fannie
Sent: Wednesday 4/30/08 5:22 PM
Subject: Flight to Vegas

You should be here watching some very fashionable Ohioans getting on that flight.
  • XXL, skin tight yellow track suit with frilly thong underneath.
  • Matching high roller sequins denim jackets......must be retired sisters.
  • Ganstah dude and his Ho! Words cannot describe. Undersized clothes on a "fluffy" six foot tall amazon.
Good lord? How gay am I?

From: Fannie
To: The
Sent: Thursday 5/1/08 8:22 AM
Subject: Flight to Vegas

You know I'm going to have to blog this, right?

From: The
To: Fannie
Sent: Thursday 5/1/08 9:01 AM
Subject: Flight to Vegas

I live to be fodder....