I am well and truly OVER YOU. If I were any good at math I would tell you the number of times over the past thirty one years and five months that we have played out this little drama. But I’m not, so I can’t. Suffice it to say we’ve been there, done this.
I refuse to be held hostage in my house on day three. I refuse to go to sleep using two tampons, a maxi pad, and lying on a bath towel. Only to awaken at 2 AM in the middle of a goddamn crime scene. I say ENOUGH!
There were some good times. I will give you due and proper credit for the months you cradled my babies in your loving embrace. Even for those babies who left you too soon, I acknowledge it was never your fault. For that I say "Thank you".
Those heroic deeds are in fact why, when we were at this same crossroads four years ago, I did NOT have you obliterated by hysterectomy and instead chose Endometrial Ablation.
And how do you repay me? By regenerating your fucking lining? Are you kidding me? I expect this kind of behavior from my liver. (Expect it? Hell, I APPLAUD it.) But to you I say “Oh HELL no!”
In light of your recent antics I must respectfully request that you cease and desist with the sanguination and fist sized clots. If you do not, I will have no choice but to make an appointment with Dr. C. to have your permanent residence changed from my abdominal cavity to a bin marked Medical Waste.
Thank you for your consideration.