Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Overheard - When Cleaning Kills Edition

Sunday evening The Saint was taking the trash bin to the curb and stopped to chat with some neighbors; a girlhood friend of Precious Youngest’s on a walk with her father. I was inside watching a re-run of The Real Housewives: The Reunion balancing the checkbook when I heard a loud thud.

The Saint: “Quick, there’s been another cleaning related injury!”

Fannie: stepping out onto the front porch to see a tiny bird lying on its side, stunned out of its mind “What happened? Did it run into the door?”

The Saint: “There were two of them! They were flying at top speed! This one slammed right into the storm door! The glass was too clean! He didn’t realize it was a window!

Fannie: *blink* *blink*

Friend: to Fannie “OMG, remember Lucky? Didn’t you learn ANYTHING after Lucky?”

Ah yes, Lucky. Many, many years ago Precious Youngest was gifted a gold fish named “Lucky”. Lucky had small tank with some pebbles, a filter, a few fake plants and, if I remember correctly, a tiny castle.

At the time the fish was “gifted” to her Precious Youngest was in the fourth grade. She would have been what? Nine years old? So you can imagine her record of taking care of pets (well anything at all really) was spotty at best.

One morning while she was at school I was putting clean clothes away in her room and realized poor Lucky’s tank was filthy. I stomped downstairs to retrieve what I needed to clean the tank muttering under my breath many bad words about irresponsibility laziness general ineptitude not being the maid.

I scooped up Lucky and some water from the tank and put it/hm into a bowl. I cleaned the tank, filled it with fresh water and dumped Lucky back in. Still muttering under my breath I continued on with my day.

Precious Youngest arrived home from school with a friend in tow.

Precious Youngest: from her bedroom “Mom, something's wrong with Lucky!”

Fannie: seeing Lucky floating upside down in the tank “Oh my gosh that’s so weird, he was fine earlier today when I cleaned the tank!”

Precious Youngest: “You cleaned the tank?”

Fannie: defensively “Yes, I cleaned the tank! Who ELSE was going to clean the…”

Fannie: *blink* * blink*

Precious Youngest: “WHAT?”

Fannie: “Huh, I wonder if using Windex to clean the glass was a bad idea.”

Precious Youngest: “MOM!!!!”

Friend: to Fannie "I knew your cleaning would kill some day.”

Cleanliness may be next to Godliness, but around here you’re gonna take your chances!


Shelley said...

Awww poor Lucky. I wonder if he was a victim of the Windex or the clean? Goldfish kinda like the muck, I think.

At our house in Arizona, we had these big windows on the north side of the second floor. They weren't actually on the second floor, but on the upper half of a room with a vaulted ceiling, if that makes sense. We were way too lazy to put window coverings waaaaay up there. Big and blank windows. Pigeons used to slam into those things all the time. It was a very distinctive sound.

I haven't seen one pigeon since arriving in Denver. I wonder if there are any here? I don't miss them. You know what are here though? Seagulls. Which makes perfect sense, because the nearest ocean is only about 1200 miles away.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That cracks me up! Cleaning if I needed an excuse to stop!

Holly (me.) said...

I am considering printing this post, placing it in a prominent location, and not cleaning for a few days...