GOOD NEWS! /BAD NEWS!
Good News: I was dressed and running ahead of schedule!
Bad News: I spilled most of the glass of V8 juice I was holding.
Good News: I did not spill a drop of V8 juice on the curtains!
Bad News: I did manage to cover my turtleneck, the floor and the wall with V8 juice.
Good News: The turtleneck I was wearing was black! And machine washable!
Bad News: The walls and floor are ... not.
Good News: I did not spill a drop of V8 on my pants!
Bad News: Because I wasn't wearing any pants at the time.
Good News: The kitchen window is on the back of the house!
Bad News: If you yell "FUCK" often enough and loud enough you WILL attract the attention of your neighbors.
Good News: ..... Oh, let's face it - there is no more "GOOD NEWS".
I'm going back to bed.