Thursday, May 28, 2009

Be Advised

Please be advised there is venting ahead with a splash of:

  • Graphic language
  • Possible profanity
  • Vivid, gory descriptions
Ahem, so remember when I thought I wanted to get my period? I never did get it you know. The cranky, bitchy, bloat just sort of ebbed away. With no period. Yesterday I started. For those of you playing along at home that was eighty three day from my last menstrual cycle

My last few periods have been very light. What one might call spotting. Which I call a glorious relief from the hell that was my life for years.

Today? I was sitting at my desk and I sneezed. And unleashed the fucking red tide at Omaha Beach. It’s a good thing I was wearing black. I’m just sayin’.

8 comments:

Jen on the Edge said...

Oh no, poor you. So sorry. Hang in there.

Swirl Girl said...

uh-oh...i hate when that happens.

Violet said...

Oh man, that so completely sucks. I will forever thank God for that July day two years ago when the doctors removed the source of so much pain, bother, and irritation.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Ugh! That really sucks. I hope you were able to head home.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

groan. You poor thing. Thank GOD for black that day!

Jocelyn said...

Just stopped over through Green Girl in Wisconsin's blog...and what an introduction to you this is. It makes me like you immensely, as I can talk dumba$$ periods for hours.

But, honey? Wow. You are in menstrual hell.

Somehow, though, you're hilarious about it. I guess it's 'cause blood and hormones are ALWAYS funny, right?

Holly (me.) said...

Oh, no! This is just the sort of tale that make me say a big ol' "Hallelujah!" chorus for my hysterectomy.

Ree said...

Oh, Fuck a duck.

I had 2 in Feb, 0 in March, 1 at the end of April, 1 in May.

{{hugs}}

did your chair survive? (sorry, but I've spent some time, er, cleaning up chairs.)