Reflections on 2008

Here is what I learned in 2008. (This is good stuff people. Please feel free to copy all of this down for future reference. )

1. The six pounds you "suddenly" gained this year? Are not a hormonal imbalance, or an out of whack thyroid condition, or that bitch perimenopause. (Aside: WTF blogger, you still don't have perimenopause in spell check?) It's because you polish off a bottle of wine every night. By yourself. Stop it. Those pounds will melt off - MELT OFF I tell you!
   
   
2. Enjoy your Christmas vacation with your kids. Revel in the lack of homework, the sleeping in, the dearth of activities and practices. Rejoice that you can schedule what you want, when you want. Some day you might have an office job that forces you to work while it seems the rest of the world is playing.
   
   
3. Do not scoff at the idea of lip liner OR Spanx. After a certain age, no matter HOW carefully you have taken care of yourself low these many years, shit starts to wrinkle and sag. Enough said.
   
   
4. Teenagers can be awesome. I know right? But they can and they are. They hug you hard when you come home from work, they help you cook dinner, they go grocery shopping with you, they make you laugh, they make you cry, they let you play Wii even though you suck and don't laugh at you. They are awesome. (But keep that to yourself, you don't want them to get big heads and quit doing shit for you.)
   
   
5. OK, this one is going to get me in a lot of trouble. In fact, I'm going to whisper this - some of you need to chill. Seriously. I do absolutely nothing special here and yet...readers..commenters..NEW readers...people "following" me (or so my dashboard tells me, I don't know what it means). Oh not many readers by some standards I realize, but still. Just do your thing and let the chips fall where they may. I'm just sayin'.

Now go out there and enjoy yourselves tonight - See you next year!