Be Advised

Please be advised there is venting ahead with a splash of:

• Graphic language
• Possible profanity
• Vivid, gory descriptions

Ahem, so remember when I thought I wanted to get my period? I never did get it you know. The cranky, bitchy, bloat just sort of ebbed away. With no period. Yesterday I started. For those of you playing along at home that was eighty three day from my last menstrual cycle

My last few periods have been very light. What one might call spotting. Which I call a glorious relief from the hell that was my life for years.

Today? I was sitting at my desk and I sneezed. And unleashed the fucking red tide at Omaha Beach. It’s a good thing I was wearing black. I’m just sayin’.

More Notes from Abroad

To: Fannie@work
From: Precious Oldest@Yahoo
Sent: Wed 05/27/09 03:18 PM
Subject: Hey!

Hey, Mama.

I'm in Galway right now (YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO "GALWAY GIRL" AS YOU READ THIS) and it's lovely. The 7th leg of the Volvo Ocean Race is here right now (we did that on accident) so everything is lively and busy and colorful and amazing. Renee Friend and I have not killed each other yet, though I'll admit, we've come close a couple of times. But, overall, a successful first week. We leave for Limerick tomorrow, which I'm totally stoked about. We'll have our own room for the first time! Whee!

Speaking of pubs... that's where I'm headed currently, to The King's Head. Loads of young kids, horrendously loud music, the whole shebang. It's fantastic. Don't you worry your head, now; Renee friend and I are being "mature, responsible adults" for the most part. =]

Anyway, I sent you a postcard. Hope it actually gets thereeeee. Let me know.

Missing you. Hope all is well!

Grace in Small Things, Part 17

1. Submitting a grant. One day BEFORE the deadline.
2. Girls (still safe and happy) in Galway by way of Dublin.
3. Still harvesting six to ten spears of asparagus each morning
4. The roses have started blooming
5. Dinner with friends

Down My Garden Path

Grace in Small Things, Part 16

1. My niece/goddaughter’s high school graduation
2. Early morning time spent in my gardens
3. Safe travels (so far) for our girls
4. The small clock on my desk set for London time
5. Remember this guy? They broke things off right before she left. I'm just sayin'

Day One

You guys are the BEST! Thanks for all the encouraging words. The only real way to deal with this is to repeat theywillbefinetheywillbefinetheywillbefine over and over and over!

We knew first thing this morning that they had safely arrived because of the following on-line evidence:

• ATM withdrawal at Heathrow
• Purchase of tube ticket
• Payment at local hostel

Just follow the money trail!

Then this afternoon I got the following e-mail:

From: Precious Oldest@yahoo.com
To: Fannie@work.com
Sent: Wed 5/20/09
Subject: HELLO FROM LONDON!!!!!

Ohhhhh boy. Renee and I are fighting the jet lag real bad. The hostel is lovely, our flight was grand, and our feet are TIRED, but we had a good first day. We took a walking tour of all the creepy parts of London (Jack the Ripper... OOOO. SCARY) and figured out the tube... an eventful day, to be sure. It's after dinner here, and we're going to bathe (finally) and figure out what we're doing tomorrow. Hooray!

Love you and miss you!

So far so good wouldn’t you say?

Letting Go

Do you want to know what I did before work this morning? I thought so. Sit back and relax and I will regale you with a horrifying tale of bad mediocre parenting.

At 8 o’clock this morning the Saint and I took Precious Oldest to the airport. She is leaving, with a girlfriend, for a four week jaunt through parts of Europe. They are, right about now, boarding a flight for London. They will visit London, Dublin, Galway and Limerick. Followed by Paris, Venice, Florence, Sienna, Pompeii and Rome. They will fly back to London from Rome June 17th and then back home the following day.

This trip is on their dime. They’ve been saving money for this expedition since their high school graduation. (Oh, Christmas and birthday gifts included sturdy luggage and many travel items, but still.)

We gave trying to rent them a cell phone that will work over there (it aint cheap folks) because our luck in that area from our past trips has not been that great; save for the Saint’s crackberry which is a work phone and thus not an option. Communication is going to be shall I say...spotty.

We’re hoping that starting with English speaking countries will help acclimate them before they have to deal with the French and the Italians. (My personal experience is that the French are far more difficult to deal with in terms of language. We shall see.)

Yes, I know there is a potential flu pandemic looming. Yes I know there are serial killers, rapists, pickpockets and general scumbags living in all of theses cities. Yes I know the only language the girls speak besides English is Spanish. And that they are not, in fact, visiting Spain.

I know all of this but we put them on a flight nonetheless. Because if not now when? In two years they will be graduating from college and presumably looking for gainful, full time employment. There will be many things, financial and otherwise, that will stand between them and a trip like this.

So we are letting go. And doing a lot of praying. I'm just sayin'.

Grace in Small Things, part 15

I feel a certain amount of shame that my last grace post was months ago. Nevertheless I give you this:

1. Nests of baby finches in the cedar trees
2. Putting the boat in the water for the summer
3. Bumper asparagus crop
4. Flower gardens looking great
5. Cherries are back in season

Warning

God! Don't you hate people who brag incessantly about their children? So smart, so pretty, so athletic, so nice, so handsome, great voice, great jump shot, superior intelligence? To hear them tell it it's all rainbows and unicorns over in their perfect world with their perfect family. Don't you HATE that?

If you do I give you fair warning.

Move on.

There is severe bragging ahead.

Precious Youngest graduated with a 4.3 GPA. (Still only put her 12th in the class!) She was awarded the Debate departmental award and the Silver Service award for community service hours far above what was required to graduate.

She had eleven photographs published in the school's fine arts and literary magazine. Seven were full page. There were no other full page photographs published in the edition. I'm just sayin'.

We gave this print to Precious Youngest:



"There has never been a day when I have not been proud of you, I said, though some days I'm louder about other stuff so it's easy to miss that. " - Brian Andreas

We are proud. Every day.

Succinct

If a picture is worth a thousand words than this sums up, perfectly, our last four years with Precious Youngest:

Perfectly!

Graduation

Precious Youngest took her last final this morning. She left soon after for her Senior Retreat. Saturday is the Baccalaureate Mass and Sunday is Graduation.

The Saint and I each wrote a letter to send for the retreat. I bawled the whole time I was writing so I can't imagine what a mess I'm going to be by Sunday afternoon.

In the meantime, I'm keeping busy. Tomorrow we are hosting a joint graduation party for Precious Youngest and my niece. 80 of our nearest and dearest. The food is going to be awesome and of course since we are Catholic there will be a bar. Hush, we don't let the teenagers drink!

I'll be back with reflections on the past four years, but I'm afraid if I start now I'll never stop crying. Oh, and if you're in the neighborhood on Friday? Stop by, there's always room at our table!

They designed and produced the invite themselves - aren't they darling? Of course it looked better with all the pertinent details, but still!

You might remember

You might remember that my sister moved into my neighborhood last summer. It was a move with some trials and tribulations, but we have enjoyed living 1/2 a mile from each other.

You might also remember that my parents were looking for a house in our area. Well they found one. They are set to close June 5th. The house is 1/2 a mile from my sister. And a 1/4 mile from me.

Check out this handy illustration. What are the chances that a year from now we will all still be on speaking terms?

I can't believe I'm saying this

What.The.Fuck. I’ve been walking around for the last three days thinking if I don’t get my period soon I am going to have a nervous breakdown..

It is no secret. I’ve not always had a good relationship with my uterus. In the last twelve months or so my cycle has been erratic at best. Sometimes my periods are 21 days apart, sometimes six weeks apart, sometimes 4 MONTHS apart. I KNOW! There’s no planning. Every time I travel I pack “supplies” because who the hell knows if this won’t just be the time Aunt Flo shows up for a visit.

I am now on day 58. I should be happy, no? NO! I feel so on edge, so cranky, so crabby, so…dare I say it…like a bitch who will stab the next person who so much as BREATHES wrong in my presence that I’m ready to explode.

I swear on all that is mother effing holy, if this pressure is not released and soon? I will not be responsible for my actions.