Thanksgiving In Pictures, Part 2

Random Thoughts

Oh the randomness currently rolling through my brain.

We have had THE most unbelievable fall weather. Very Little Rain = Much Sunshine. You have no idea how this pleases me. The windows have been open for weeks upon weeks. It has only been in the last few days I’ve left the heat on for an entire 24 hours.

Precious Youngest was home this past weekend. She needed a break. She is struggling right now. She is in a difficult period of discernment. She is my worrier by nature and I’m losing some sleep on her behalf.

I’ve been notified of two large awards for grants I wrote in late summer. Let me tell you; money is tight and competition is stiff. I feel pretty good about this.

I am afraid I have to walk away from helping my sister with her finances. I had hoped to keep her little ship afloat until she could deal with some long standing issues. My assistance is now being perceived as interference. She is resentful to the point that it is affecting our relationship. I am afraid for her, but I can not make an almost forty seven year-old woman DO anything she doesn’t want to do.

I have a sort of a braggy thing I keep writing about and then deleting. You know what? Make that two things.

The hot flashes. Oh my God people; kill me now. I have an appointment with a doctor next week. I am hoping there is something to be done.

See? Random.

Hello? Is anyone out there?

Things are a little dusty around here I see. I didn’t mean to abandon this poor space but many, MANY goings-on have been vying for my time and attention.

My sister finally left the hospital on August 5th. Nearly a month after she was admitted. She came home with a defibrillator but minus the thyroid that started all the trouble to begin with. She is lowly re-gaining her strength and she may be able to return to wok the first of September.

Both of my girls are back at school. Actually, Precious Oldest did not come home this summer, but last Saturday we moved her into the apartment she will share with three others for her last year of college. She has lived in the residents halls her prior years, so this is very exciting for her.

Precious Youngest was deposited at her residence hall on August 7th. Much too soon for her mother’s taste, but she had to train as the desk supervisor so she in turn could train her desk attendants and be ready for the first wave of residents who arrived yesterday.

My nails, house and gardens all show the signs of neglect. I haven’t done a proper grocery shop in I can’t say when. Probably prior to the 4th of July. Work, well work is still here. It has been a relatively quite summer and thank goodness because I did not need to have the office weighing on my mind too!

Slowly I hope to fill in some of the pieces. Some are good, some are wonderful and some are not too nice at all. In the meantime I do appreciate the comments and e-mails of support and concern. The power of prayer has pulled us through some very dark days and I appreciate your prayers good wishes on our behalf.

XOXO Fannie

Update

Lordy, I had to go back to see what I posted last to even DO an update!

On Tuesday the 27th it was discovered that one of the leads on my sister’s AICD had become dislodged. She went back to surgery that afternoon to have it re-attached.

The next morning, the 28th, they discovered the OTHER lead (there are only two!) had also dislodged. The odds of this happening was .01%. Back to surgery, re-attached, all double reinforced.

All went well and by evening we were able to watch “Top Chef” together.

The surgeon has finally agreed to do the thyroidectomy. He is an ENT surgeon who specializes in cancers of the Head and Neck. he has been deemed by the Endocronology team to be the most qualified to do the procedure. Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday the 3rd. There are a number of things they need to do to prepare her for the surgery and he wants to give her body a little more time to heal.

So there we are. Baring unforeseen complications we hope to be on the road to recovery next Tuesday!

AICD

Automated Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator

My forty-six year old sister has a pacemaker. She came through the minor surgery no problem. From a cardiac perspective? They are ready to discharge her from the hospital.

Endocrinology on the other hand? Not so much. We were told two things on Wednesday night in a pow-wow with the cardiologist, endocrinologist and electrophysiologist:

1. Surgical removal of the thyroid gland is the only treatment option left for her

2. No surgeon will touch her thyroid in her/its current condition

So, yeah. BUT, last night they found a surgeon who has agreed to at least review her chart. He is a surgeon who specializes in cancers of the head and neck. Who knew?

Questions; No Answers

I am seriously bleary eyed from stress and sleep deprivation and I’m not the one in the hospital. After 21 grueling days in the CICU and then the cardiac unit it looks like my sister is facing some tough decisions.

Number One:

Sib 2 had a heart MRI and a heart cath on July 16th. There was evidence of scarring on the front wall of the heart which indicates a heart attack (different than sudden cardiac death, which we know occurred on July 8th) at some point. No one can tell us when or whether it is related to the thyroid or something else entirely. .

Yesterday they did 2 heart CTs to get a definitive answer as to location and extent of the scarring. It is the opinion of the cardiac team to put in an ICD (pacemaker). My sister is 46. Holy shit.

Number Two:

Her Endocrinologist has not been in favor of removing her thyroid surgically. It will take 8 to 12 weeks to determine if her course of radioactive iodine (June 4th) has had an effect. The surgery is risky because her sever hypothyroidism has made her thyroid gland very vascular. In the surgery the manipulation of the glad to remove it could flood her system with thyroid hormones and send her into cardiac arrest. Nevertheless, they now feel they may not have another option. Holy shit.

My overriding concern remains that the trauma she has been though emotionally and physically make her a poor surgical candidate. Which surgery do they do first? Does one affect the other? Questions; no answers.

CICU

Quick update. My sister is still in the CICU. She is extubated and so is awake and talking for which we are very grateful.

Unfortunately she is still experiencing periods of AFib and her thyroid levels are not trending down as quickly as they would like.

Her health is still fragile and we are taking things one day at a time.

Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement.

Overheard

Outside Cardiac ICU room number five

To the endocrinologist and cardiologist

Fannie: "There is something you need to know about my sister's medical history that isn't in her charts because there isn't a space for it. My sister's ex-husband is an abusive, alcoholic, living in a Salvation Army shelter, piece of shit. That woman in room five has three children and she is all they have. Her son is twelve years old and he doesn't want Aunt Fannie and Uncle Saint; he wants his mother. You? Need to fix.my.sister."

Please God, She's Only Forty Six

Thyroid Storm

Intra-Aortic Balloon Pump

Swan Ganz Catheter

Ventilator

Pneumonia?

Power of Attorney

Medical Directives

Health Care Proxy

Yes. AGAIN.

My sister had a heart attack last night. I'm sitting with her in the cardiac ICU. She is sedated, on a ventilator and undergoing a process called Therapeutic Hypothermia Protocol. Her current body temperature is down to 91 degrees while they try to assess any heart or neuro damage from the cardiac arrest while giving her body a chance to heal.

If you want the back story it starts here, and then goes here, and then here.

She had a radioactive/iodine ablation for her thyroid three weeks ago, but her T3 is still raging. The concern now is that this generally results in A-Fib, not full on cardiac arrest.

I've called every priest I know and I may pull in a rabbi or mullah if I can find one. Please pray.

Tidbits and Pictures

• My sister came home from the hospital yesterday. She’s still very tired but she feels better than she has in a long time and she’s only on two prescription medications instead of eight as she was the LAST time.
  
  
• Our fair city got something in the neighborhood of twelve inches of snow between December 24th and December 26th. We had another significant snowfall last week and we’re gearing up for another today. Temperatures have not been above the teens to low 20’s for weeks so nothing is melting. I don’t know where they’re going to plow the new snow.
  
  
• We have a lovely sun room on the back of our house, which I adore.
  
  Unfortunately it does not have very good insulation in the ceiling and so we get a lot of icicles back there.
  
  
  
  HOWEVER, due to all the snow they are SPECTACULAR this year!
  
  
  
  
• This is our weather forecast:
  
  Wednesday: High 24°F, Low 4°F
  
  Thursday: High 8°F, Low -6°F
  
  Friday: High 5°F, Low -8°F
  
  Saturday: High 11°F, Low 2°F
  
  
• See that 2 degree low on Saturday? That’s when I’ll be flying to Cabo San Lucas for a girls trip with my GNO group. Winter? Can kiss my lily-white ass!

Happy New Year

The bad news is my sister is still in the cardiac ICU. The good news is that she is at a different hospital than the last time and we have done a wholesale, and permanent, substitution of her medical team. We are not a litigious lot and for that her old medical team should be on their knees praying to whomever they hold holy.

She had a transesophageal echocardiogram (effective, but no fun) which gave a clear enough picture of her heart that they felt comfortable doing a defibrillation. For the first time in weeks her heart is back in rhythm and is her heart rate is well below 100.

She is too fragile to do the radiation treatment now, so we wait. But we feel much more confident that her health will be closely monitored and the procedure done in a more timely manner than before.

So to any and all who sent a prayer out there into the universe - I thank you.

Laugh or Cry?

My sister is back in the hospital. The Saint and I took her to the ER yesterday. Elevated heart rate and fluid in the lungs is putting off the radiation therapy she was due to have tomorrow to "kill" her thyroid.

She's been feeling poorly for too long and is beyond upset to be back in the hospital. We're a little low in the morale department around these parts.

So laugh or cry?

OVERHEARD

The Saint calls me today at the office

The Saint: Are you cooking dinner tonight?

Fannie: I was planning to, why?

The Saint: I think the Precious Daughters both have plans tonight.

Fannie: Well, what time? Do the plans involve dinner?

The Saint: I think Precious Oldest has potential dinner plans, I'm not sure about Precious Youngest.

Fannie: It doesn't really matter -I'm cooking whether anyone is home or not. Tell them to do whatever. And any way, I don't want to be "THAT MOTHER" .

The Saint: "THAT MOTHER"?

Fannie: You know, the one that does the guilt.

The Saint: Oh, I'll be sure to pass THAT along!

Fannie: "Well ...when you do make sure you tell them *sniff* you heard tears in my voice!

All joking aside - we need a prayer over here!

P.S. They were both home for family dinner, I'm just sayin'.

Cousin Time

We had much merriment over the Thanksgiving holiday. One of the most enjoyable aspects was all the “Cousin Time”. My two oldest nieces (Sib #2’s girls) are very near in age to the Precious Daughters and they’ve always been close.

“Cousin Time” became more important as the girls got older and became busier with school, jobs and activities. They didn’t see each other as often as they would have liked even though we were all in the same town. Now with three away at college (all different schools) they don’t see each other much at all.

"Cousin Time" makes getting together on holidays that much sweeter.

Updates (Starring good news!)

My sister is home from the hospital! While she is taking a total of eight prescription medications NONE of them need to be injected. Can we say “halleluiah”?

My mirror is up and I’m very happy with the results.


And let me just add that taking a picture of a mirror and not putting yourself IN the picture? Is a whole lot harder than it might seem!

If you can ignore the “which damn camera are we supposed to be looking at?” expressions on our faces, this is me with my mother, my sister and my niece from the wedding a few weeks back.



Growing up we didn’t think we looked much alike, but geez now that we’re older? Yeah, maybe a little.

Overheard

Hospital room on the cardiac wing -

Nurse B: “Hi, I’m Nurse B and I’ll be taking over your care for tonight.”

Sib #2: “Hi, this is my sister Fannie. She’s here for moral support.”

Nurse B: “Great. OK, I brought something to help with your nausea. But we really need to get your heart rate down. I’m going to give you Cumadin, Atenolol and Lovenox. Have you had Cumadin before?”

Sib #2: “The blood thinner? Yes”

Nurse B: “How about the Lovenox?”

Sib #2: “I’m not sure.”

Fannie: “Hon, I think that’s the injection they do in your stomach.”

Sib #2: “Oh man, I hate that one, it hurts!”

Nurse B: “I know, I’m sorry, but we really need to get your heart rate down. You’re going to need the Lovenox every 12 hours for about four days to give the Cumadin time to kick in.”

Sib #2: “Wait, four days? Will I have to stay here that long?”

Nurse B: “If we get your heart rate down enough to send you home you can do the injections at home.”

Sib #2: “No WAY am I doing that to myself!”

Fannie: “I could do it!”

Sib #2: “No way I’m letting YOU near me with a needle!”

Fannie: “Hey, when my time comes I’m letting you pull the plug!”

Sib #2: “Oh alright, you can stick me.”

Nurse B: “This is what you call moral support?”

Fannie: “I’m holding her hand aren’t I?”

Sheesh.


All kidding aside, they have only been able to get her heart rate from 205 to about 140. A normal heart rate is 70 to 80. We’re also waiting for the results a CT scan. Please keep my sister in your prayers.

Small Request

Sib #2 was over last night and told us she has not been feeling well. Pain in her back, racing heart, some nausea. She planned to go to the doctor this morning and get checked out.

She did the right thing. Her doctor had her admitted to the hospital for tests because her heart rate was in fact much to high. Test results are pointing to Hyperthyroidism (ding-ding-ding - family history)which they will deal with when they get her heart rhythm under control.

Sib 2# is a single, working mother who needs this like the proverbial hole in the head. If you so inclined, a good thought or a quick prayer would be much appreciated.

You might remember

You might remember that my sister moved into my neighborhood last summer. It was a move with some trials and tribulations, but we have enjoyed living 1/2 a mile from each other.

You might also remember that my parents were looking for a house in our area. Well they found one. They are set to close June 5th. The house is 1/2 a mile from my sister. And a 1/4 mile from me.

Check out this handy illustration. What are the chances that a year from now we will all still be on speaking terms?

Olly Olly Oxen Free

Charming, no? How I invited everyone to come out of hiding and then left them DANGLING with no post for days and days? Sheesh.

I was blaming my absence on the fact that I’m just not feeling like myself, but then I realized that this is EXACTLY how my self feels every winter. Drive, ambition, gumption? Pfft, out the window.

All I want to do is sleep, eat and drink. And watch really bad television. (OMG – the new “Real Housewives”? Better than EVER!) I come home from work and put my pajamas on. I shuffle around the house and consider ordering pizza for dinner like some sort of slacker. I look at my lap top and can’t be bothered to turn it on. It is dark, it is cold, I am miserable.

Speaking of television (What? I was!), you remember that Sib#2 lives right around the corner ? Well her cable company (we have several options in the ‘hood) does not get BRAVO. Travesty I know, right? So she comes over to our place to get her BRAVO fix.

Last night was "Top Chef". We were very disappointed that Jersey got sent home. (There are so many contestants at the beginning of these shows that we can't be bothered learning their names so we give them nicknames that sort of stick.) It was the first time we felt let down. When Bronx started whining about missing his family we knew he'd be the next to go. When Bangs and Sleeves got the boot we totally saw it coming. But Jersey? Man, we LIKED her! Meanwhile Angry Girl, Slacker, Frenchy (though Frenchy MIGHT get re-named Douchey), Boy Next Door, Makin the Pasta and Crazy Eyes will live to see another week.

What gets you through the cold winter nights?

Overheard

The Precious Daughters are having a Guitar Hero World Tour competition. Precious Oldest's phone rings; it's the boyfriend. Precious Youngest answers:

Precious Youngest: "Precious Oldest can't talk to right now, she's rocking out."

Charlie Brown Teacher Voice

Precious Youngest: to Precious Oldest ,"He says he thought you were going to a movie."

Precious Oldest: sigh "What movie?"

Precious Youngest: "She wants to know WHAT movie."

Charlie Brown Teacher Voice

Precious Youngest : to Precious Oldest "He says he doesn't know."

Precious Oldest: "Gah, I'm dropping chords - tell him I can't talk about this right now!"

Precious Youngest: to boyfriend, "You know what? How about you call back when you DO have a plan? Kthnxbai!"