We're more like best friends than mother and daughter...

Cast: See profile

Scene: “Family Dinner”(someone more clever than myself would have some pop-up of a child rolling their eyes each time this phrase is used. I am not that person) somewhere in the Midwest around a kitchen table.

Fannie: So what are the plans the rest of the week? (oops, back story, we’re taking Precious Oldest to fucking COLLEGE on Saturday)

Precious Oldest: Just tell me when I have to be here for “Family Dinner” and I’ll be here, just don’t make me do pots. (A subject unto itself)

The Saint: How about just Thursday?

Fannie: (interrupting, what a shock) Well we were invited to the B’s pool party Friday, and it would be nice if we could go but I don’t want to have a late night if we’re leaving early in the morning.

Precious Oldest: How early do we have to leave?

The Saint: The loft guys are coming at 10:00, so probably 8:00.

Precious Oldest: 8:00 isn’t that early.

Fannie: We’d LEAVE at 8.

Precious Oldest: Well I’m packing the car Friday night; I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t.

STUNNED SILENCE ALL AROUND

Fannie: (Fake sobbing into my napkin) This is the proudest moment of my life!

Precious Youngest: Don’t you wish there were things you could think in your head without ever saying them out loud?

Precious Oldest: Can I be excused now?

Fannie: After you top off my glass. (Very nice – Chateau Saint Martin De La Garrigue, Bronzinelle)

Fade: A good “Family Dinner”? Sarcasm with a side of irony!