Tuesday, November 13, 2007

She’s Lost that Loving Feeling

Precious Oldest broke up with Boyfriend over the weekend. I didn’t expect him to make it through the summer, much less this far into the school year. From the start he was much more smitten; and knowing my girls as I do, I recognized that this was not a good omen for the Boy.

But damn it people, he’s been hanging for around eight or so months now. And even though he started out as just Prom Date, and even though I try not to get attached, its hard. He’s a nice kid, academically excellent, easygoing. He treated Precious Oldest exactly as you would want a boy to treat your daughter; kindly, thoughtfully, with respect, with humor, and with copious compliments to her mother’s cooking.

When Oldest called to tell me the news I may have been less than supportive. I have may have blurted out something along the lines of “Poor Boyfriend! Do you think there’s any way you’ll get back together?” I know, Meanest Mother awards all over the place yet again. But my mind flashed on this gentle boy getting his heart handed to him. (Let’s just say I could empathize.) The fact that his infatuation caused the “claustrophobia” that led to the breakup barely entered my consciousness during that phone conversation.

The next morning, standing in the shower, I realized I hadn’t acknowledged Precious Oldest’s feelings about the matter much at all. She was upset and I was worried about some boy? He was not the first and is surely not the last! So I called her first thing to apologize for sounding less than sympathetic to her pain. She said it was hard. She said her stomach still hurt. She said he was very upset. (Uh yeah, excluding mine, she doesn’t like to hurt other people’s feelings.) She said thank you for listening.

And I? Silently thanked God for not being a teenager any more. Because even if you are the one doing the heart breaking? Its heartbreaking.


drawer queen said...

sI too have erred by being concerned about the poor boy...even counseled one long distance as he was far away at his first year of college, lonely and she visited and then broke up with him and he was devastated...and it is hard. For everyone. Kudos for calling her back. I think we spend so much time teaching our children to be kind and to care about others, that it can be hard to step out of that role. I always joke that we hope that our daughter learns to use her beauty for good, not evil, but sometimes it is hard to tell which way it is going..

suburbancorrespondent said...

Oh, golly, the fun never ends, does it? Lucky, lucky me.

Shelley said...

I so understand this. I wrote a post a while back about my daughter and the extremely sweet boy she was dating, and how she broke his little heart. They are now back together again, and he's even given her a promise ring. I live in fear for the day that she crushes his heart again. I'm hoping it doesn't happen, because he's the most awesome kid. And strangely, when she broke up the first time, I was way more concerned about him than I was about her also. It is hard being on either side, I guess.