Home Improvement for $500

The Hotfessional asked for "Home Improvement". With that in mind, riddle me this: Why would people who can’t put a Christmas tree with out dropping the F Bomb at least six times EVER endeavor to do home improvement projects? I don’t know either. This is what I do know:

Do not strip wallpaper off three days before weekend visitors are due. Putting up new wallpaper together is grounds for divorce.

If you replace the bathroom faucet it will cost $2,000. Never mind that the faucet was $50, everything else will look shabby by comparison. You do the math.

If your husband spends a day in a crawl space trying to solder a leaky pipe, do not call him the next day to tell him the plumber did it in three minutes.

If you decide, three days before you move into your new house, that you have time to have the ugly popcorn texture removed from your ceilings, please take note of the fact that “Ceiling Plaster” is not a finished product. The fucking newly plastered ceilings WILL need primer plus two coats of paint.

If you are renovating a bathroom, make sure the tile you ordered is IN the United States BEFORE you take a sledge hammer to the old tile.

If you hire a neighbor, who is down on his luck, to refinish your hardwood floors, and he quotes part of his payment in cases of beer? When you come back from vacation your hardwood floors will most assuredly look like shit.

Oh people, surely you get the idea. Need I go on? That being said, so far the current bathroom project has gone surprisingly well. Here I am painting the sun room "Lemon Meringue".

Right over where a window USED to be.

Look at my mad skills up top.

Finished product and start of the bathroom tomorrow.